Wednesday, March 28, 2007
٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu♡ ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu♡ ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♡♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu♡ ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♡♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♥٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱu√٥ﺎ ٱu ♡ ♡ i mean friendship wala love..hehehe
Finding Peace Within -Early Scraps Pt. 2
Jan 12 Angel: Have you ever Loved Someone?Yeah :) but also learnt lots from it,The one you think loves u the most turn out to be the worst.and the one you never told you love, loves you the most :)Anyways.. I guess who cares!!
Jan 12
Angel: well it's getting a little easier.. I signed onto orkut, checked some posts on my communities and for once did not look for..... What he said to me the other day, about losing what little respect he had and also about how it doesn't bother him anymore what I do.. well it hurts. It makes me realize how pathetic it is to try and hang onto someone who no longer wants you. He seems to enjoy making me realize how easy it has been for him to move on without me.. and how he's enjoying his life without me. He even says that I am the worst thing that ever happened to him. So, I will not actively pursue him anymore. I will not let him see how much he hurts me. I will not continue to beg him. He told me he doesn't care if I move on and he never talks to me again. He said he hopes I do. So if he is able to forget about me so easily, I am going to work on being forgettable. Remove myself from his direct thoughts..
Jan 12
Angel: I sort of already do 'talk to myself' on Orkut here. I have been using my scrap book as sort of a reflective journal.. to work out something very personal..very painful to me. I appreciate everyone's scraps but then I became afraid to open up to strangers so I deleted them. I guess I have a hard time trusting. Because I'm always expecting judgement and criticism. I thank you for caring though and until then, I will just talk here. Even this little bit makes me feel a little better Jan 12
Jan 12
Angel: well it's getting a little easier.. I signed onto orkut, checked some posts on my communities and for once did not look for..... What he said to me the other day, about losing what little respect he had and also about how it doesn't bother him anymore what I do.. well it hurts. It makes me realize how pathetic it is to try and hang onto someone who no longer wants you. He seems to enjoy making me realize how easy it has been for him to move on without me.. and how he's enjoying his life without me. He even says that I am the worst thing that ever happened to him. So, I will not actively pursue him anymore. I will not let him see how much he hurts me. I will not continue to beg him. He told me he doesn't care if I move on and he never talks to me again. He said he hopes I do. So if he is able to forget about me so easily, I am going to work on being forgettable. Remove myself from his direct thoughts..
Jan 12
Angel: I sort of already do 'talk to myself' on Orkut here. I have been using my scrap book as sort of a reflective journal.. to work out something very personal..very painful to me. I appreciate everyone's scraps but then I became afraid to open up to strangers so I deleted them. I guess I have a hard time trusting. Because I'm always expecting judgement and criticism. I thank you for caring though and until then, I will just talk here. Even this little bit makes me feel a little better Jan 12
Finding Peace Within: My Early Scrap entries to myself
Angel: You are such a liar.
Jan 10
Angel: Why can't you just forgive meI don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the wayBut I always find a way to keep you right here waitingI always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting
But you always find a wayTo keep me right here waitingYou always find the words to say to keep me right here waitingAnd if I chose to walk away would you be right here waitingSearching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting
Jan 10
Angel: I know I've been mistakenBut just give me a break and see the changes that I've madeI've got some imperfectionsBut how can you collect them all and throw them in my face
But you always find a way to keep me right here waitingYou always find the words to say to keep me right here waitingAnd if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waitingSearching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting
I hope you're not intendingTo be so condescending it's as much as i can takeand you're so independentyou just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break
But you always find a way to keep me right here waitingYou always find the words to say to keep me right here waitingAnd if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waitingSearching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting
I've made a commitmentI'm willing to bleed for youI needed fulfillmentI found what I need in you
Why can't you just forgive meI don't want to relive all the mistakes I'v
Jan 10
Angel: †.......I know I've been mistaken....But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made........I've got some imperfections.........But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face......But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting.........You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting...........And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting............Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting.......†
Jan 10
Angel: well i just talked to him for the first time in God knows how long.. and it ended badly again:( Everything I say , no matter how well intentioned just is like a loaded gun for his anger. and it's like a bullet in my brain. Why don't I just realize it's hopeless and just move on?? WHY??? :( :(
Jan 9
Angel: well I see that my venturing out into the Orkut communities is getting me noticed. I have to say I liked being on here alone, because, I could say what is in my heart and nobody notices, except maybe the one person who matters. But doesn't seem that that person cares. That person fakes emotions. And then points the finger at someone else. I'm not sure if I'm ready for friends yet on here. I will have to think about it. But thank you for scrapping , to those that did scrap to me.
Jan 9
Angel: • Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal
Jan 8 Angel: ♥Girl: Do i evercross ur mind
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: Not really
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or ur life
Boy: my life
The girl runs away in shock and pain andthe boyruns after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind isbecauseyou're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you isbecause I loveyou.
The reason I don't want you is because Ineed you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left isbecause Iwould die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you isbecause Iwould die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to doanything foryou is because I would do everything foryou.
The reason I chose my life is becauseyou AREmy life.
Jan 8 Angel: ok, obviously that was a lie. It's not getting easier, or I wouldn't be logged in at this very moment. Seeing you right there, yet unable to even say hello. It's not getting easier at all. But if I tell myself that enough times, maybe it will eventually become true. Jan 7
Angel: It's getting easier and easier to go on. I'm reading this book, "The Mango Season" right now and I've come to realize how different we are. And nothing would overcome those differences.
Jan 7 Angel: Katojikuta tamorukuari Zukarinkuari!
Jan 4 Angel: http://www.musicindiaonline.com/p/x/UyKmAHaH1S.As1NMvHdW/
Jan 4 Angel: Katojikuta tamorukuari zukarinkushi !
Jan 3
Angel: Since I don't have any real friends on Orkut, I simply use this scrapbook thing as sort of a journal for myself. This is how I'm feeling today.. Fairly peaceful. I feel like my heartache is lessening a bit. I feel less compelled to wait around and see if he will talk to me. I don't even feel so bad when I see obvious signs that he's living his life without me. And I am not looking at the 2 acknowledgements of my existence as signs of hope . Why hope for continued heartbreak? The healing time has begun. There's no hate, no animosity, no bitterness, no regret. It was sweet at one time, now it's simply over and part of the past. It's happened before, I'm a big girl, I can handle this. The only sad thing is knowing deep in my heart that I did not mean as much to him, as he grew to mean to me. In the beginning, I was the one who was not ready to commit. It grew each day , to the point, where I was ready to make big decisions. Impatience and Intolerance killed my slow growing love. And the girl next door.
Jan 3 Angel: Eat Me, Bitch!
Jan 2
Angel: Don't like my scraps? Don't read them!
Jan 2
Angel: You never gave me a chance. You are so loving toward others, and yet I am the one who you once claimed to love, and you have been the most impatient with me and most unforgiving toward me. You forgive others quickly. But not me. You are quick to find fault with me and you misinterpret everything I say. It's sad. Sad sad sad sad. When you are all alone, and thinking about things, when you can truly be honest with YOURSELF.. You will know that I loved you and that I tried and that you were unfair. But it's better that we are apart.. You are meant to be with someone else. And I will have to live with that. 12/31/06 Angel: You can say I am the one who destroyed our relationship.. but I say you have destroyed me. You have destroyed my spirit. I am a shell. I breathe, but I don't live. You will have to live with that for the rest of your life, that you have destroyed someone's spirit.
12/31/06
Angel: Set me free why don't ya babe? Get outta my life why don't you babe? Cuz you don't really love me, you just keep me hangin on. Why don't you be a man about it and set me free? You're just using me, abusing me. Get out, get outta my life, and let me sleep at night, cuz you don't really love me, you just keep me hanging on. You say you still care for me and you want to be friends. But how can we be friends, when seeing you only breaks my heart again?? 12/31/06
Jan 10
Angel: Why can't you just forgive meI don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the wayBut I always find a way to keep you right here waitingI always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting
But you always find a wayTo keep me right here waitingYou always find the words to say to keep me right here waitingAnd if I chose to walk away would you be right here waitingSearching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting
Jan 10
Angel: I know I've been mistakenBut just give me a break and see the changes that I've madeI've got some imperfectionsBut how can you collect them all and throw them in my face
But you always find a way to keep me right here waitingYou always find the words to say to keep me right here waitingAnd if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waitingSearching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting
I hope you're not intendingTo be so condescending it's as much as i can takeand you're so independentyou just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break
But you always find a way to keep me right here waitingYou always find the words to say to keep me right here waitingAnd if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waitingSearching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting
I've made a commitmentI'm willing to bleed for youI needed fulfillmentI found what I need in you
Why can't you just forgive meI don't want to relive all the mistakes I'v
Jan 10
Angel: †.......I know I've been mistaken....But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made........I've got some imperfections.........But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face......But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting.........You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting...........And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting............Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting.......†
Jan 10
Angel: well i just talked to him for the first time in God knows how long.. and it ended badly again:( Everything I say , no matter how well intentioned just is like a loaded gun for his anger. and it's like a bullet in my brain. Why don't I just realize it's hopeless and just move on?? WHY??? :( :(
Jan 9
Angel: well I see that my venturing out into the Orkut communities is getting me noticed. I have to say I liked being on here alone, because, I could say what is in my heart and nobody notices, except maybe the one person who matters. But doesn't seem that that person cares. That person fakes emotions. And then points the finger at someone else. I'm not sure if I'm ready for friends yet on here. I will have to think about it. But thank you for scrapping , to those that did scrap to me.
Jan 9
Angel: • Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal
Jan 8 Angel: ♥Girl: Do i evercross ur mind
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: Not really
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or ur life
Boy: my life
The girl runs away in shock and pain andthe boyruns after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind isbecauseyou're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you isbecause I loveyou.
The reason I don't want you is because Ineed you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left isbecause Iwould die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you isbecause Iwould die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to doanything foryou is because I would do everything foryou.
The reason I chose my life is becauseyou AREmy life.
Jan 8 Angel: ok, obviously that was a lie. It's not getting easier, or I wouldn't be logged in at this very moment. Seeing you right there, yet unable to even say hello. It's not getting easier at all. But if I tell myself that enough times, maybe it will eventually become true. Jan 7
Angel: It's getting easier and easier to go on. I'm reading this book, "The Mango Season" right now and I've come to realize how different we are. And nothing would overcome those differences.
Jan 7 Angel: Katojikuta tamorukuari Zukarinkuari!
Jan 4 Angel: http://www.musicindiaonline.com/p/x/UyKmAHaH1S.As1NMvHdW/
Jan 4 Angel: Katojikuta tamorukuari zukarinkushi !
Jan 3
Angel: Since I don't have any real friends on Orkut, I simply use this scrapbook thing as sort of a journal for myself. This is how I'm feeling today.. Fairly peaceful. I feel like my heartache is lessening a bit. I feel less compelled to wait around and see if he will talk to me. I don't even feel so bad when I see obvious signs that he's living his life without me. And I am not looking at the 2 acknowledgements of my existence as signs of hope . Why hope for continued heartbreak? The healing time has begun. There's no hate, no animosity, no bitterness, no regret. It was sweet at one time, now it's simply over and part of the past. It's happened before, I'm a big girl, I can handle this. The only sad thing is knowing deep in my heart that I did not mean as much to him, as he grew to mean to me. In the beginning, I was the one who was not ready to commit. It grew each day , to the point, where I was ready to make big decisions. Impatience and Intolerance killed my slow growing love. And the girl next door.
Jan 3 Angel: Eat Me, Bitch!
Jan 2
Angel: Don't like my scraps? Don't read them!
Jan 2
Angel: You never gave me a chance. You are so loving toward others, and yet I am the one who you once claimed to love, and you have been the most impatient with me and most unforgiving toward me. You forgive others quickly. But not me. You are quick to find fault with me and you misinterpret everything I say. It's sad. Sad sad sad sad. When you are all alone, and thinking about things, when you can truly be honest with YOURSELF.. You will know that I loved you and that I tried and that you were unfair. But it's better that we are apart.. You are meant to be with someone else. And I will have to live with that. 12/31/06 Angel: You can say I am the one who destroyed our relationship.. but I say you have destroyed me. You have destroyed my spirit. I am a shell. I breathe, but I don't live. You will have to live with that for the rest of your life, that you have destroyed someone's spirit.
12/31/06
Angel: Set me free why don't ya babe? Get outta my life why don't you babe? Cuz you don't really love me, you just keep me hangin on. Why don't you be a man about it and set me free? You're just using me, abusing me. Get out, get outta my life, and let me sleep at night, cuz you don't really love me, you just keep me hanging on. You say you still care for me and you want to be friends. But how can we be friends, when seeing you only breaks my heart again?? 12/31/06
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